


AD PERPETUAM MEMORIAM

by Baekhesten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekhesten/pseuds/Baekhesten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been a long time since he loved you. Decades, in fact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	AD PERPETUAM MEMORIAM

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
 **AD PERPETUAM MEMORIAM  
** \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been a long time since he loved you.

Decades, in fact. But what is time to an angel? You’ve been here since Cain and Abel. A few years is nothing but the flutter of wings in the expanse of eternity. But while you can remember every bit of snarky dialogue, every quirk of his lips, every offhand brush of his hand, he’s probably forgotten you by now.

Even with that kick in your chest at the thought, you think you’re content with that. You and him never were meant to spend a lifetime together. For twelve brief, wonderful years, he needed you. He loved you. But you knew from the beginning you’d have to let go some day. For your own sake.

You haven’t seen him since he left you. At first it was because you couldn’t face him—couldn’t look in those viridian eyes and see nothing but renouncement. Realizing it wasn’t about you took you more time than you’d like to admit. That it wasn’t about what you’d done wrong or right, but rather the kind of life he needed. He was never prepared to live out his life with an angel. It was easy to pretend, in the beginning. Before time began creeping up on him, dragging him down even as it left you unscathed.

You weren’t prepared for that, either.

That’s why you never saw him again. Even after you realized it wasn’t your fault, after you realized he didn’t hate you, you couldn’t bring yourself to find him again. You don’t think you could handle it. For a being who’s seen empires fall and centuries turn, something as insignificant as the turning of time for one human being shouldn’t break you as much as it does. You don’t want to know how much he’s changed since your last kiss.

So instead you remember. You remember his laughter after being kicked out of a den of iniquity, you remember him broken in a hospital bed, you remember your first taste of alcohol with him, you remember his crooked smile when you tried to speak with one of God’s lesser creatures, you remember his arms around you when a demonic storm nearly took you away from him, you remember the first time he kissed you, you remember the last time you felt his hand against your skin.

And you remember the necklace he parted with despite his sentiment for it. It never did you the good you thought it would, but it served as a reminder and connection to him while you were gone. He threw it away not too long after you returned, but you rescued it when you thought he wasn’t looking. You kept it as your secret, a little piece of him in your pocket. Now it’s all you have left.

So when heaven sends you back to earth, on this or that meaningless task, you don’t search for him like you once did. All you do is clutch that tiny piece of brass in your hand and remember the man who used to love you.

\- - - - » (and if you’re lucky, he’ll remember you) « - - - -


End file.
